First I Chose Abortion. Then I Chose Motherhood.

Article originally appeared in Rewire on May 3rd, 2021

This Mother’s Day is my first, and it’s nothing like I imagined; being a new mother during a global pandemic is beyond challenging. There are the general challenges of being a new mama, such as the sleepless nights, learning new routines, trying to make sure my baby is well-fed, the adjustment to postpartum life and my new mind and body, and the endless laundry.

But, because I was pregnant and had my son during the pandemic, the lack of in-person support and my fear of contracting COVID-19 has added to the pressure. It’s very lonely. And it’s all compounded by the never-ending fear that my Latino-Asian son could be the target of police brutality or gun violence in East Oakland, like so many Black and Brown children. It’s stressful, but I am overjoyed when I see my son giggle because it’s the parenting path that I chose.